Screenwriting Survival

Pop Quiz: WHICH is the following screenwriters is the SUCCESSFUL one (answer at the bottom). SCREENWRITER #1 Boo hoo. I can't get a writing gig. SCREENWRITER #2 Waaaa. I can't sell my pitch. SCREENWRITER #3 Complain all you want. But I'm all about hard work. I'm going to start draft #336 of my new spec comedy about a dude that decides to enter the Miss Argentina pageant. SCREENWRITER #5 (to self) Hmmm, good concept. I think I'll quietly pitch it while he's distracted perfecting his spec. ANSWER TO THE QUIZ: Screenwriter #5 is successful because he got the idea to market first. The moral of today's story: Work fast, or don't tell your friends what you're writing.

There is nothing better than saying in a pitch or story meeting, this is based on a TRUE STORY . But what do you do if your true story is BORING ? A lot of writers make the mistake of assuming that, just because a story is based on "reality," that means they can't influence reality. Not so. You are a part of reality as are most studio executives and even many agents. And, as part of reality, you can influence reality. For instance... Let's say you found a true story about an elderly Polish woman who lives on her own so that she can give her retirement money to her grandchildren for their education.  It sadly sounds a bit dull. However, how cool would it be for the grandchildren to go MISSING , and the elderly woman starts receiving mysterious MESSAGES : drive your motorized wheelchair and be at 'x' place at 'x' time. If you want to see your grandkids, you must cook your cat's hairballs with angel hair pasta and eat it. And more.

Who is this movie for? I can't tell you how many times I, Barton Bukowski, get asked that question. Over and over and over again. Oh that damn question! Who is the movie for? I like to get really specific when I answer that question. For example: "The movie I'm writing is for a 47 year old retired glassblower named Michele who lives in the Burgundy region of France." Perfect answer. Who can argue with that? Or "This movie is for my 98-year-old Great Aunt Sally who lives in a nursing home." That way, you can tailor your script for your audience. For instance, if you are writing the script for MICHELE , you can make sure to include lots of references to Napoleonic Wars and people eating frogs. Also make sure to include for fun explanations of the history of glass blowing techniques. You can customize your theme by using this rich detail: you might play with the dramatic tension between the traditional way to blow glass and the facto