Successfully selling your screenplay via "bundling"

I can't tell you how many friends and associates of mine are having real problems trying to sell their scripts.

I haven't had such problems, and I'm going to share with you one of my secrets to screenwriting success.

The concept is bundling. I'm sure you have seen this in marketing. For instance, when you buy a steak knife set, they'll throw in a second set and a sharpener for free.

Why not apply this concept to successful screenwriting?

Imagine that you are trying to sell your screenplay for, say, $60K, a lot of money particularly by today's recessed standards. A buyer might look at that price and think, hmmm, do I really want this screenplay? Do I really need it?

Now, imagine that very same buyer when presented with a bundle. For that same 60K, what if s/he will get not only your script, but also something else that s/he would find desirable?

Your script could be combined with sex, for instance, oral sex.

Now who wouldn't want to read a fine script while enjoying a fine blow, snow or rim job?

Or let's say that you bundle your script with (as I did with my most recent international sale) a kidney?

What do you need more, a redundant kidney, or screenplay success?

Who could say "no" to a script that comes with a fresh organ that could save the life perhaps of a loved one in need, circumventing the state's cumbersome priority donor lists?

It's true, my next sale (via the internet) bundled with my left eye, created problems.

I've sold screenplays in Hollywood, and isn't that what truly matters?

Sometimes it's just a matter of establishing your priorities.